NAME: Mr. Automated Teller Machine (ATM)
Interests: Loitering in dark alleys, playing pool and going off-track betting locations with Vinny and Lazy Eye.

Quote: “Skimmers, surfers, what’s with all these water references. Last time I looked we weren’t at the public pool. You guys are with public safety, right?”

Detective Charlie Wilks
Interests: Eating jelly donuts, and making fly fishing lures in preparation for retirement, and reciting sonnets.

Quote: “You want to maintain steady surveillance on postings from Experian, Transunion, and Equifax. You can receive a free credit report from each of the three credit reporting agencies once a year.”

NAME: Herbert L. Lichtenbaum
Interests: Marketing homemade action figures for sale on the web and berating individuals that are technologically inept, which would include everyone else in his office.

Quote: "If you bore witness to all of the sneezing and wheezing that ensues when I come in contact with feline dander, then you’d understand why I have my inhaler at the ready and my immunologist on speed dial."

NAME: Detective Carmen Marquez
Interests: Busting compromised automated teller machines, hassling her partner Detective Charlie Wilks, and squashing advances by suave internet game show hosts.

Quote: “The craftsmanship of the perps that put you up to this would best be described as bush league, your faceplate's a mangled mess.”

 
NAME: Bodie
Interests: Watching Tae Bo infomercials, wakeboarding, and taking in the scenery

Quote: "...after filling out 2… no 5 credit card applications I left with a bunch of free shwag."


Name: Milo

Interests: Perfecting his pommel horse routine and supplying Chet with information that you can take to the bank, literally.

Quote: "All that said, don't count out money market accounts..."

 
NAME: Laura
Interests: Snatching the lead female role from clutches of the Valley Community Theater very own diva, and playing the mandolin.
Quote: "Isa, will you cut it with your elitist mumbo-jumbo, you are needed on stage for blocking."
 
NAME: Isabella - "Isa"
Interests: Acting (especially as the lead), mathematics, practicing vocal exercises
Quote: "Laura was born on February 29th, she's a leap year baby. She only gets to celebrate her birthday once every 4 years. How tragic."
 
NAME: Julie
Interests: Shopping, shoes, and shopping for shoes
Quote: "I was stunned that they (the credit card companies) were only requiring me to pay $15 to $20 a month. I was thinking "That's not bad, considering I've got a balance that's over a grand."
 
NAME: Maria
Interests: Watching musical theater, courting hyperactive game show hosts

Quote: "In this case, it's not 'all about the Benjamin's, baby'… with nothing but props to P-Diddy of course."

 
NAME: Cameron
Interests: Drinking exotic tea, blogging, and airing his gripes

Quote: "I must say, one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century is the debit card. I'd have to put it right behind the Segway."

 
NAME: Jimmy
Interests: Bird watching, refereeing badminton championships, and doing anything else that involves "birdies"
Quote: "…by attaching a bunch of tubes together, they can create an exercise gym for their pet gerbil. I tell you the possibilities are endless Chet."
Name: ?
Interests: ?
Quote: "I knew the day would come when Chet Winkleman would call upon me to save his pathetic game show."